Confession of a City Slicker

It’s official. I have turned into a city slicker. Evidence: 1) I can’t see myself ever hunting, let alone shooting Bambi or anything that flies or has two to four legs (I can still fish). 2) I hate camping – the payoff isn’t worth the massive effort. Of course, camping in 100+ degrees doesn’t help. 3) I am conditioned to expect traffic delays where ever I go. 4) I enjoy having ready access to museums, an international airport, pro sporting events and performing arts. Number five is what prompted my confession. I’ve turned into an “off road” wimp.

Last fall, we needed to replace our broken down Honda Odyssey. With the dwindling family size, we no longer needed a minivan, so we opted to downsize. We purchased a Subaru Outback. The vehicle is equipped with all-wheel drive and “paddle shifters”, a feature that allows the driver to manually shift the car when necessary. Due to a very warm winter and the flat terrain that surrounds D/FW, we haven’t been able to utilize either feature. Last week during our Yellowstone vacation, the perfect opportunity presented itself. I was conversing with a fellow tourist and he told me I ought to take the family to the top of Sawtell mountain for a spectacular view. I jumped at the chance. I loaded up the family and off we went. The paved road soon gave way to dirt and gravel (which, by the way, fits my city slicker definition of “off road”). The incline was fairly steep, so I switched the transmission mode from automatic to manual. The scenery was as advertised, very beautiful and spectacular. I was having a great time, doing the manly manual shifting thing and treating my family to an off road adventure. I found myself thinking back to the teenage days when I accompanied buddies Jeff Lee and/or Alan Wood on real off road adventures. After reaching the halfway point, the road narrowed and the incline steepened. We rounded a sharp turn and found ourselves pointed upward toward a fairly lengthy stretch. The road was wide enough for one and a half vehicles. The mountain was on the left, a cliff was on the right. There wasn’t a place to bail. The only choice was to proceed up. About half way up the incline, I noticed my palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. I steered the vehicle as far left as possible, hoping we wouldn’t encounter an oncoming vehicle. Luckily, we didn’t. After successfully navigating this stretch of road, we continued our trek up. After navigating two more switch backs, we reached a turn that was wide enough to park the car and fully take in the view. The top of the hill was in sight, only two more switch backs to go. Sadly, the city slicker mentality kicked in and I made some lame excuse about needing to get Jared back to the resort so he could drive back to BYU. The family readily agreed and we began our descent back to the resort. What an off-road wimp I have become! I hope Ron and Brendon don’t think any less of me.